Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
