Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
