last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just had sex on a roof
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
