Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
