there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
