I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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