Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
