your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
