I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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