How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
