I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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