we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
