no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
