how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
