i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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