Where are you?
In a non slutty way
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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