The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
