It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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