you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize