I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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