I need help removing her.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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