I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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