coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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