Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
