At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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