You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
