oh god the rape fog is back!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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