Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
