I can text with my tongue
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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