just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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