atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
