I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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