dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
