Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
