it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm at about main and main street
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
