god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
