dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
