I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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