small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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