Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
