im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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