so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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