Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
birth control should be required to get into college
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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