you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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