tell your sister to shave her snatch
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ladies don't puke and tell
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
