The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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