puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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