Dual....:-)
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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