he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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