Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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