So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
