Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize