You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
