i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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