i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize