SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
vagina is talking i cant
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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