This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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