and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
