i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
