How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
