Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
