i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
