guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
