Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
