how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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