what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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