if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i dont even know how to be here
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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