hell yes lets make some ravioli
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
