Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
