It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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