He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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