if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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