im having a threesome with these popsicles
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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